


Supercrush Summer

by Wolfgang von Cemetery (enemy_xands)



Category: Extreme Championship Wrestling, Professional Wrestling
Genre: Angst, Bloodplay, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Cults, Cutting, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, High School, Kinda AU, M/M, Mind Games, Minimally required kayfabe compliance, Self-Harm, The Nineties gross, barely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-12 13:04:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5667067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enemy_xands/pseuds/Wolfgang%20von%20Cemetery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summer stretched out before them, and it was going to bleed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I can't focus on anything lately and I'm extremely depressed so here is a sandbox fic I've been thinking about for a while. To get all my feelings out and I feel like I missed that first wave of dark ass ECDub fic lol. You need it, right?
> 
> High school setting but not really a high school fic but everyone is aged appropriately. Kinda AU, kinda kayfabe compliant. I, for one, was a big fan of WCW's attempt to reconcile Raven's pseudo-HBK past with being the King of Grunge.
> 
> Nothing good is going to happen in this fic but I will do my best to get out of here without any character death. Wish me luck!

After being grounded a few months for a hair bleaching experiment that got way out of control, Scotty got his keys back and was free to drive again just in time for summer break in a few months. And he evened his hair out, eventually. He wanted to shave it off but his hair stylist gently nudged him off the edge.

He liked his lion mane, but he loved whatever mommy and daddy loathed about him.

He quietly shirked the polo shirts and khakis he'd worn to appease his parents for a while and slipped his old identity back on. The change hadn't gone unnoticed. His mother sighed; dad rolled his eyes. And the rest of his school playmates gaped at his brazen disregard.

His English professor tipped her glasses to him when he came in fifteen minutes late.

"Oh, I see Raven is back."

"In the flesh..." He propped his feet up to sit on the back of his chair.

"Down, sir."

He smiled behind the hair in his face and sat down.

Being here right now was a joke; he was so far ahead in all his classes that he was only taking one exam. Chemistry. He hated that class so much he took it twice; it finally dawned on him that failing the course to spite his teacher was dumb as all hell, but not before he had an F for the whole semester.

While everyone took out their books for class, Raven pulled out his library book of poetry. A quick check of the receipt told him it was overdue. The glares from his classmates receded to a dull hum as he read, or rather re-read.

The teacher came down the aisles and looked over his shoulder.

"Well, aren't we ambitious?"

He looked up and smiled. "I don't need to study."

"Then to go ta library!" Tommy, that dumb fucking jock, chucked a paper ball at the back of his neck. Raven whipped around and balled his hand into a fist but the teacher grabbed his elbow. 

"G-go to the library!" she yelled, exasperated. He glared at her betrayal--how could she agree with him?--but rested his arm, got up and stormed out of the class.

The school library was downstairs in the basement. As it turned out, his normally empty turf was full of kids who had successfully dodged taking the dreaded finals, chatting so loud it sounded like a flock of birds had descended. Perplexed, he raised his eyebrows at the stocky student assistant Beulah.

"What?"

"What the hell are all these people doing here?" 

"Since they're not taking exams and they can't go home, the teachers are just throwing them in here." She shrugged and leaned against the counter. "Didn't you know?"

"Don't we have a break room?"

"You don't own the joint, Scott." She looked him up and down. "What happened to the bright colors?"

"I got over it."

He heard Beulah huff behind him as he turned around. Then, from the very depths of her lungs, she yelled, 

"QUIET!"

The room went hush.

"Thanks." She sniffed.

Dull murmurs crept back in like the tide rolling along the beach. Raven surveyed the expanse of the room and sighed. He went to the table populated by only one person and perched on the edge of the table. The other person didn't seem to mind and went right on reading his comic book. Raven did a double take; on further examination, it was a graphic novel.

"Is that _Watchmen_?" The kid went right on turning pages until Raven cleared his throat.

"Oh, me?"

"Yeah, you."

"Yeah! The local store got a new shipment in last week and they only had, like, fifty and I got one, spent all my lunch money on it."

Raven took a moment to process everything the motormouth had just run by him, most importantly the thought of spending one's lunch money on comics. He was no stranger to issues of income disparity and blah blah blah but to be so clearly poor and irresponsible? He liked this kid.

Actually, he really like this kid. "Aren't you in Mr. Gwinn's class?"

"Chemistry? We have it together next period. I'm not going cause I skipped the exam."

Bingo. "You're doing really well in that class, aren'cha?"

The kid was evidently no fool; he closed his book on his hand holding his spot, squinted skeptically at Raven.

"You're Scotty, right? You barely show up to class."

"Yes, young sir, and as a result it appears I am failing." Raven sighed through his nose melodramatically. 

The kid's sigh was a bit more sincerely put upon. "You need 'help', right?"

"You sound like you already have a study club."

"Not many people talk to me unless they want something."

"Don't be like that, chum!" Raven swung around until he had his boots resting on the table. "You look like a cool guy. What's your name?"

"Steven. We went to the same middle school."

Oh. "Well, you didn't stand out then. You do now."

Steven still looked mildly unimpressed but a smile was tugging at the corner of his lips. "Thanks."

"I don't need help with class. I need someone to pull me out of my errant ways. You want a project, Stevie?"

Stevie suddenly blushed and focused on his book again. "Me? Why me? What do you do?"

"I told you, you look like a cool guy." Raven dropped his head, his hair hanging down in front of his face like a curtain. "I'm a real bad kid, Stevie. My pa--"

The bell rang. Most of the library occupants got up to return to class and the ones that didn't clustered closer together in the absence. 

Beulah emerged from the back with her backpack on.

"Christ, Raven, get off the damn table!"

Raven paid her no mind and she left in a flurry of swear words.

"Like I was saying." He rolled his head back and let his hair drape his neck. "My parents sent me to rehab last year."

Stevie's eyes widened. "What...for?"

"Drugs, ya goof."

Stevie was visibly uncomfortable, squirming in his seat and clutching his book. But he hadn't left yet.

"Don't you have class?"

Raven chuckled dismissively. "I'm done with that asshole. I'm gonna learn with you, right buddy?"

"I...guess. Do you want to start now?"

"Nah. I got some roamin' to do. I'll pick you up after school and you can come to my place."

Stevie took another minute to think. "Um. Okay."

Rave grinned and reached his hand out under Stevie's chin to playfully cuff it. He got up as the new crop of intruders settled into the library until it was time for lunch.

"Oh and, when you're done tell me what you think of Adrian at the end, okay?"

"Okay."

Raven took to the halls and then outside for a quick smoke. The white puffs from his cigarette swirled around the yellow dot of the sun in the sky. His book felt hot and weighty in his hands and he wanted to write, inspiration fluttering in his chest. He hated when he got that way. He was susceptible to doe-eyes and easy manipulated brainwaves, which is what he probably should have gone to rehab for, not coke.

He sighed and leaned against the hot brick; it was going to be a long couple of hours.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm snowed in this weekend so I figured it was finally time to push a bunch of shit off ye olde drawing board...
> 
> It took me a while to realize Stevie's whole thing is "handsome boy next door that is secretly a serial killer" so then I was confused whenever they tried to make him a face.
> 
> Warnings for self-harm, bullying, and 90s angst

It was an hour later when Beulah snuck out to bum a cigarette off Raven.

"So?" she asked, glancing at him sideways. These days, she tried not to show him too much attention.

"So what?" He quietly turned the page.

"What ya doing after class?"

"None of your goddamn business."

She balked and kicked a cloud of gravel in his face. "Excuse me for fucking living! Why you gotta be like that?"

Raven flipped the book over with his pinky holding his spot. "To kill that little note of hope in your voice."

Beulah's face reddened and she stamped out her cigarette in the grass.

"Fuck off, Scotty."

Even though she had invaded his space first, didn't matter because he's still an asshole. Always will be, she didn't even know why she wasted her time on him or why he bothered with her. But she still loitered around after class, waiting on her mom to pick her up behind the school. His car was around here, in fact she stood right next to the door so he'd have to face her on the way in.

She leaned against the hot metal, not even wincing as it burned her legs. Her arms were crossed around her backpack like it was a shield. The scent of cheap Pall Malls wafted up from one of the side pockets and mixed with the aroma of tarnished jewellery and body spray. Waiting, waiting as a slow trickle of students drifted out. Most of them were smokers, she knew. A few administrators hung around, scoping out the danger before lighting up as well.

She made brief eye contact with Tommy, who pointed at her then said something to a friend; they both laughed and walked away. Raven came out, finally, but he was with some kid squinting like he needed glasses wearing an ugly as sin sweater despite the god awful heat. The two of them were walking together, coming this way. As they got closer, Beulah was pretty sure she recognized the kid from the papers.

"What's this?" she said, interrupting their conversation. The kid shrank back a little.

"Beulah, my new pal Stevie. We're off to our inaugural study group for chemistry."

Beulah busted out laughing. "Isn't that the class you're making a double F plus in? I don't think he can save you."

The kid said softly, "He only has a D, he can make it."

"See! I can make it!"

Beulah ignored Raven and kept peering at the kid. "Say...aren't you...aren't you the one that threw the guy off the roof freshman year?"

Stevie shrank back further behind Raven, who's eyes were wide.

"Pretty sure ya are."

Stevie shook his head. "Can we go now?"

"Sure...sure. Hey, Beulah, try not to fucking harass my new buddy, huh?" He gently scratched under her chin. "Your mom's here."

Beulah raised up just enough for Raven to slide in and unlocking the door. He pushed Beulah off and quickly dived inside and unlocked the passenger side.

"Hey!"

"Bye, dearest."

The car sped off, leaving Beulah crouched over with the wind fluttering under her skirt and unsure how to explain to the screaming student behind her why her car now had a large and obvious dent on the side.

Raven only lived twenty minutes away, and he thought that was enough time for Stevie to get the hint. But the kid was sinking into his seat like he might disappear in it, holding on to his backpack like a life raft. Ostensibly, he was looking at the floor but his eyes were glossy like he wasn't seeing anything, or maybe seeing the past.

They came to a stoplight; Raven sighed and leaned back. 

"Buddy...you know I gotta ask."

"I. Did not. Throw anyone. Off a roof." Stevie's voice changed, deepened, and only now did it dawn on Raven that he had been speaking in a clearly artificial pitched-up voice the whole time. "That's just a stupid rumor." 

"Well, rumors gotta come from somewhere. You can tell me, I won't spread it." 

Stevie finally looked up at him. "You swear?"

"I'll fucking pinky swear if you want, come on." 

The car moved forward again. Stevie didn't know why he was inclined to trust this stranger who had scarcely said three words to him since junior high. He knew about him, sure, the kid that kept calling in all the bomb threats and his parents' money was the only thing keeping him from getting expelled. And when he threw fits in class at the teacher, more often than not he was right. Stevie liked that about him, admired him. Some part of him always wanted to be in his peripheral vision. But did that make him someone to be trusted?

He took a deep breath. "It was...freshman year," he started, throat dry. He pulled the backpack closer. "My friend, Simon. We had just met over summer. We were both getting picked on." He laughed nervously. "But we had homeroom together...he was going to tell--mom and dad had told me to stop doing it because it would embarrass them, but he was going to tell the guidance counselor about me." 

"About you what, Stevie?" 

"These." 

They came to the last stoplight and Raven slowed up, unusual for him as yellow lights simply meant "gun it". He stopped, much to the consternation of the driver behind them, who honked what was surely morse for "fucking cunts". He cocked his head as Stevie rolled his sleeves up, revealing a network of shallow scars, most of them healing and some very new and red. He whistled low.

"He was gonna rat you out?" 

"Yeah. He said he was helping."

"That's not helping." 

"No, it's not. But I didn't throw him off a fucking roof, I swear."

"Where did that come from, then?"

"I don't know. I don't--it was an accident. We _were_ on the roof of the school, but I slammed his head into a brick wall. I just wanted him to shut up about it...the principal found us and I guess it got out. I had to home school for a year."

"Hm. So that's how you got so smart, eh?"

Stevie shrugged. The car pulled forward again and Raven turned off a side road that Stevie knew lead to the affluent part of town. They drove to a gated community and Raven pulled into a garage attached to, what seemed to Stevie, a palatial estate with cream colored brick and glass doors.

"Wow..."

Raven looked over at him and grinned.

"Nice, huh?" He turned off the ignition. "Now I'm wondering if I should tell you a secret too."

The seat creaked as Stevie leaned forward a little. "A secret?"

Raven opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind. Instead, he lifted up his shirts--a plain one layered on top of his school-unfriendly band tee--and revealed his own system of extensive scarring and burn marks that stretched across his abdomen.

"You...too?" Stevie reached a finger out to touch the lightly haired stomach but withdrew like it was fire. "But why! Your life is perfect."

"Perfect." Raven laughed humorlessly. "Oh, because I have a foreign car and a nice house? Hmm, why am I being so honest with you?"

Stevie shrugged. "You don't have to be...I'm sorry. I'm--always looking for attention."

"Is that what they tell you?" Stevie shook his head then nodded. "So what if you are? Honesty deserves honesty, though. My parents hate me. My mom is took out of it on Valium to notice my dad beats me into a coma on a near-constant basis. Why, I just started doing what they do and they got mad. That's attention seeking. Aren't adults hypocrites? Aren't they _sick_?"

Stevie was looking from Raven to the door and back again, trembling. But Raven was chuckling again as he got out of the car.

"Don't worry. I'll protect you. Come on."

Stevie cowered behind Raven as they ascended the stairs. Raven unlocked the door to the house and it led into the kitchen, with granite counters that looked like something out of a magazine. He indulged himself by running his hand along the floating island near the stove.

Raven turned on him suddenly. "Oh, you hungry? Thirsty?"

Stevie couldn't even think of what to ask for, so he simply looked to the fridge. Raven opened it and stuck his head in.

"Lessee, we got...leftovers, strudel, juice, Gatorade...Gatorade? Huh. Ham. Tofu..."

"Scotty? Is that you? Who're you talking to?"

The sound of expensive mule heels clacking in wood then tile echoed into the kitchen. Stevie was expecting a boozed out hydra with pearls on each neck breathing fire; what he got was a woman with perfectly coiffed hair in a pink cardigan.

"Oh!" they exclaimed at each other in surprise. Raven turned around with an armful of sandwich items.

"Mom, Stevie. Stevie, mom."

"H-hi..."

Mom was still in shock, looking between her son and the stranger. "You brought a friend! He looks normal!"

Raven knocked his head against the table top in embarrassment. "Mooom."

"He doesn't have piercings or pink hair!" She pinched Stevie's face. "I can't wait for your father to see this."

Stevie tried to hide his smile under his hair. Raven rolled his eyes and thrust a finely constructed sandwich at him.

"Ready to go study, study buddy?" 

"Oh, my god. You're studying for class? Bless you, child. Bless you!"

Raven quickly shoved Stevie up the stairs and away from his mother. When they made it to his room, he slammed the door and sank down.

Stevie looked around. The room was well lit, showing off the metal and movie posters plastered on the walls with nary a lick of space between them. There was a blacklight hanging on the back of the door, and a writing desk with a stack of paper and books off in the corner. What caught his attention most, though, was the hardware that was spilling out of the closet: leather and steel-toe boots and a heap of leather straps and steel rings.

"Thank god," Raven exhaled. He watched Stevie nibble at his sandwich and stare around the room. "Dig it?"

"It's very...you?"

"Thank you." He got up and went to his desk. "I know what you're thinking. She looks nice, don't she?"

"Your mom? Well...yeah." Stevie scratched his arm. Raven had been so open with him so far, he wouldn't lie would he? But if that was just a facade, he didn't know what was scarier.

Raven's smile was enigmatic. "Appearances can be deceiving."

Stevie finally let go of his backpack and slipped out his chemistry textbook. He set it in the work desk and opened it up to the middle at random.

"Where ya stuck at?"

"Umm...the last thing I remember is formulas. Yeah! That. Never got past those."

Steven blinked for a few moments. "That's...the the beginning of the course."

"I told you I suck at this!"

"Okay, okay. I can work with that. We've got plenty of time."

For the next few hours, Stevie found himself re-teaching Raven two semesters' worth of a chemistry course, complete with worksheets and Raven constantly zoning out to talk about concerts he wanted to go to and books he was reading. It was painfully apparent that the kid just didn't have the aptitude for the work but if he failed the exam again he was going to be the oldest kid in twelfth grade. Stevie himself was having a hard time focusing with the sheer amount of stuff to assault his eyes all over the room.

Finally, Raven let out a long screech like a wounded animal and dropped his head on the table. 

"Raven?" Stevie poked him with this eraser. "Raven..."

"I'm dead. I can't do this. I fucking hate math."

Stevie touched his pencil to his lips. "Are you failing that too?"

"No."

"So why chemistry?"

"I haaate iiit. There's no worth in it. No poetry, no art! It's just compounds and equations!"

Stevie sighed. Raven got up and left, muttering something about coffee although it was only seven. 

Alone, Stevie let himself fully take in the alien space he was in. The scary artwork from underground metal bands, the foreign movie posters for releases he couldn't pronounce. He dropped back down to the books on the table. He picked one up, noting that it had a French title and to his surprise the entire book was untranslated, with notes written in ink all over. He skimmed it but didn't try to read.

He was ashamed of his snooping but this was his only chance to see this strange, new side of his host. The one everyone thought was so frightening and aloof. A poetry lover? He recognized the handwriting on the sheets stuffed under the books. So Raven was trying his hand at it too. The thought made him smile.

The door swung open and Raven came in bearing two mugs. He slid one over to Stevie, who was still frozen over the books.

"I...don't drink coffee..." he stammered.

"I figured. That one is tea." He followed Stevie's gaze. "I don't mind if you look. Just don't laugh, okay?"

"I won't..." Relieved, Stevie started skimming through again. "A lot of it is...really pretty and. Romantic." He giggled. 

"You said you wouldn't laugh," Raven said flatly behind his mug. "I like mushy stuff, okay?"

"I won't tell...not that I have anyone to tell." Stevie sighed. "Back to chemistry."

"No! Jesus, give me a minute. My brain isn't ready yet. Just...sit down a sec."

Stevie nodded and gave the man his space. He walked around the room a bit; even the window was covered with some kind of art print. He found himself wandering over to the closet, unable to resist the lure of peeking into Raven's lair further.

"These boots are so cool," he said quietly. "Can I look?" Raven nodded. He tugged more shoes and a mess of pants out if the closet, accompanied by the tangle of leather straps. He freed them from the laundry and held them right side up. When he finally realized what he was looking at, he blushed and dropped them.

"Hey! My harness! I haven't seen that since the last Slayer show!"

Raven came over and plucked the harness of the ground. He finally noticed Stevie's red face and curious gaze. 

"What? It was for an outfit. I had clothes on!"

"Oh..."

"I bet you'd look good with it on." Raven flashed a Cheshire grin. "Wanna try it? It might motivate me to work a little harder."

Stevie quickly scurried back to the desk. "N-no thanks."

Raven laughed. "Aw, come on. I'm the only one that'll see. It'll just keep distracting me now."

Stevie looked at the textbook then at Raven. "If...you do really well on this next set of problems..." His voice dropped to a mumble.  

"Say what?"

"I'll put it on."

Raven's grin widened. "Alright! I'll concentrate."

Stevie flipped to the Q&A and left Raven to work. He focused on the bed, then the floor, anything but the harness. He secretly hoped Raven would keep failing so he wouldn't have to keep his word.

About twenty minutes later, Raven dropped his pencil and wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Done."

Stevie picked the sheet up and went over it, prepared to mark every question. As he went, he was mildly horrified to see that everything was...correct. Every question, like someone totally different had done the work. Raven beamed proudly at him and Stevie responded with a wavering smile of his own.

"G-good job."

"I deserve a treat, right?"

Stevie sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, you do."

Stevie crossed the room to pick up the harness. He couldn't fathom what the hell Raven was wearing with it. It was fairly simple, a Y shape with two straps for his chest and two for his thighs. He swallowed thickly, loosened the straps up so he could step in.

A quick glance over his shoulder, and he saw Raven watching intently. He adjusted the straps and tightened them around his chest.

He turned around slowly like a shy girl showing off a gown. "What do you think...?"

Raven gave him a long, devouring look from his feet to the tip of his head.

"You...look gorgeous."

Stevie ducked his head to hide the deep blush darkening his face. He ran his hands across the cool straps that were warming up to his body temperature. The restraints made him feel like he could suffocate in a good way, he was excited in equal parts by something so sinful and the way Raven was looking at him. Raven, who was moving closer and closer until there was only inches of space between them.

"We need to get back to work..." Stevie said feebly. Raven tugged and pulled at the straps.

"In a minute. Are you a sub?"

"Sub?"

Raven winked and kissed his cheek. "Submissive," he said against the warm skin.

Stevie finally jerked away out of Raven's grasp. He fumbled with the buckles of the harness nervously.

"Siddown. Back to work!"

"Awwwww," Raven whined. But he dragged his feet back to the chemistry text.

"Next chapter." Stevie tossed the harness in the closet, shuddering. 

"Yessir, jeez. What happened to cute, shy Stevie from a minute ago?"

"Study!"

"Okay!"

They continued on for a few more hours until Raven collapsed again from exhaustion. At the ten o'clock mark, Raven's mom popped her head in.

"Don't you think you should take your friend home? His nice, normal parents must be worried sick."

"Doubt it," Stevie muttered under his breath.

"You wanna go home, Stevie?" Raven asked, faced still smushed in the textbook.

"Sure. You gonna be in the library tomorrow?"

"Yesss..."

"I'm taking you home, dear," mom interjected. "I don't trust Scotty to get you there in one piece."

Stevie breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

He packed his things up and followed mom out.

"Bye, Raven..." he let his fingers linger on the door knob, waiting for a response.

Raven turned his head over. "Parting is such _sweet_ sorrow."

Stevie smiled and pulled the door up. Once he heard the distant sound of mom's car starting up in the car, he hunted for clean paper and a pen, and, upon finding his tools, began to write.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I've been in a general drought lately and I really felt like updating this real quick and 
> 
> Hot damn it got fucked up fast lol YIKES
> 
> We're about to get out of the school setting soon. Until then there's nowhere but up to go from here! Warnings for graphic violence, blood, toxic relationships, and other Saturday morning cartoon tropes.

Exam morning. Raven staggered into the library, hands trembling as he pulled a chair out to sit down.

"Raven?" Stevie squinted. "You okay, man? You look...out of it."

"I'm real tired."

"Your hair is...um...oh, you look different without your eye make up."

"I didn't have time. Cat eyes take forever." Raven jolted as if he suddenly realized where he was. "Oh, God. I'm not ready. I'm gonna fail."

"No you're not!"

"I can't be stuck in high school forever."

"You won't be! You're smarter than you realize, you just have to put effort into it! Believe in yourself..." Stevie trailed off and shrank under Raven's strange gaze. "That was lame, forget it."

"No, I...needed to hear that. Thank you. You know why I stayed up so irresponsibly late?"

"Yeah, why did you?"

Raven flattened his palms against the table and leaned in. "You."

"Why me?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's your eyes, your hair, that crooked unhappy smile...you look like you're creeped out."

Stevie hid his red face behind a binder. "A little."

"What if I said I love you? Has anyone ever said that to you before?"

"N-no." The binder slid down a little. "But I'm not stupid! I know you're just trying to gross me out!"

"Gross?" Raven shrank back. "You think it's gross?"

"I didn't mean it like that--I don't have anything against you if it's like that! But you don't even know me!"

"We've entrusted our deepest, darkest secrets to each other, and you think I don't _know you_ , Stevie?"

Stevie shrank down further in shame and embarrassment. "Go fail your exam already! God!"

Raven got up, a little steadier on his feet now. He tapped on the binder shield a few times.

"I'm gonna pass, because you believe I can."

~~~

Stevie couldn't bump his History grade up over the No Test limit, so he had to take an entirely pointless exam for one measly point. 

But he was free for the rest of his day now, to even walk home if he wanted. No one would be there this time of day, he could relax in peace and finish his "summer reading", mostly consisting of graphic novels. Maybe even dig out the old NES. 

Instead of any of those much better options, though, he chose to mill about the empty hallways. Clutching his shoulder bag like a shield at his side. He didn't know why he was so jumpy. Every time the wind blew lint into the sunlight, his skin crawled. He exhaled through his nose a few times to calm down.

He was in a part of the building he didn't usually go to, the part that allegedly held the home ec and art classes. Why were they bunched together like that? There were no lockers, either, only shadows along the wall where they used to stand. It was like a haunted house, with scuffed floors and mysterious stains.

So few people were here today, which he chose to see as a good sign. But that meant no one to ask where the hell he was, and therefore he was lost. He slid down a wall next to a stairwell that might lead to the basement, might lead to a dead end. 

Well, by his best estimate the last tests of the day should be letting out, so he would just follow the crowd back outside. Then he'd truly be free. Until then, he pulled out an issue of _The Green Hornet_ \--a throw away copy he picked up a few months ago--and started reading. 

He jumped when he heard the sound of canvas shoes coming down the stairs next to him. He quickly shoved the comic book back into his sack and leaned over to look upstairs.

Framed in the blue light from the windows was a slim but well-built figure, with scraggly tufts of brown hair that stemmed from a clean undercut. He wore a school-unfriendly vest and shorts and shoes that had certainly seen better days, barely held together with tape and safety pins. He, too, peered down at Stevie from the middle of the stairs. Stevie waited a minute for the other kid to say something, but when he didn't he called out instead.

"Uhh...how do I get out of here? I'm not down here often." His uncertain chuckle echoed. 

"What way did you come in?" The kid finally reached the bottom of the stairs. Stevie could see his face was a bit moist and ashen, eyes sunken in and lined with red like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"That way. I think." He pointed at the old principal's office. "Yeah." 

"You gotta come up this way."

Stevie questioned the wisdom of going upstairs to get out of a building, but he didn't have much of a choice. The kid had already turned around and was going back upstairs, so Stevie followed a few paces behind.

The upstairs looked like a completely different world. The floors were green and the walls a sickly shallow. Busted lockers lined the walls. The fluorescent lights winked and fluttered. The kid silently walked ahead of him to the end of the hall until they reached a classroom. Stevie sighed. Of course he'd been tricked.

The kid turned around, smirking. He pushed the door open and tilted his head.

"Go on."

Stevie wasn't really in the mood to be beaten up today, but he figured if he took it now and got it over with he could get on with his day. He slid inside and the door closed quickly behind him.

In front of him sat Raven, head down with his hair dangling in front of him. In retrospect, Stevie preferred getting ganged up on.

"Did your test go well?" he asked quietly.

Raven shook a bit, then straightened up. There was a mirror compact and eyeliner pencil nub on the desk. His left eye, however messy, was successfully ringed and smudged with black.

The two of them regarded each other in silence for a few minutes. Raven dipped his head a bit to pick up his eyeliner again.

"One hundred percent," he muttered. He began working on the other eye slowly, methodically. "All thanks to you."

"I knew you had it in you."

"I didn't."

Stevie smiled softly. "You're smart."

"But you think I'm gross?"

"I didn't mean that. You caught me off guard."

Raven looked up but didn't say anything else. He continued working on his eye like Stevie wasn't there, running over his bottom lash with the remnants of the eyeliner nub and smudging out with his knuckles. He repeated the process a few times until he was satisfied, then dropped the pencil into his pocket.

"Better?" 

"Hm?"

"You said I looked different. Is that better? Don't say you liked me before."

"No, you look more...you."

Raven smiled. "Thank you." He got up from the table and crossed the room to Stevie, took his hand in a tight grip. Stevie winced. 

Raven leaned in until his lips ghosted against Stevie's skin; soft flesh and stubble made him shiver.

"I love you."

"You're just saying that..."

"What would I gain by lying to you about that?"

Stevie paused. He hadn't really thought about that, but then again he wasn't given to pondering the inner workings of this kid's brain.

"I-I don't know, but it's not going to work."

Raven intentionally brushed his unshaven face against the clean-cut one before him and hummed.

"Just be glad someone's paying attention to you. The good kind."

Stevie leaned back far enough to cock his fist and slam it across Raven's face. He grabbed a couple handfuls of hair and drew the kid back in for a headbutt in the mouth.

Raven fell back on his ass, stunned. Blood gushed from his mouth and their was a bloody lip print against Stevie's forehead. For a moment, he could see the young man that morphed into a monster one fall day, and drove his own friend into a brick wall to keep his secrets.

Stevie lost all false pretense in his voice as he clenched his fist again. 

"I told you to quit it."

Raven licked blood away from his lips. His face was sore and swelling but he smiled anyway.

"Was wondering when I'd see the real you."

Stevie's eyes widened. He was shaking. He couldn't believe he'd lost control like that again, but instead of terror Raven was looking up at him like something to be worshipped.

"You're violent...broken...raw. I love it."

He swept his leg and knocked Stevie off balance, sending him crashing into the desk behind him. He grabbed the waist of his pants and flipped him backwards, nibbled his ears with still bleeding lips. Stevie struggled against him like a wild animal but Raven held him like a vice.

"I love you."

The other body went limp, a brief sob escaping from his lips. Raven repeated the magic phrase over and over, freeing one of his hands to slide down Stevie's lean body, anxious fingers skipping under his waistband to grope his thighs.

"D-don't! Class is out soon!" 

Raven snatched his hands away and sat up, throwing Stevie out of his lap.

"Fuck. Oh yeah, people still use this room. There's an art final."

"What's an art final even look like?"

"You draw your ass off. Come on, help me set up."

Raven was up and in the back room in a blur, muttering something about doing this hours ago. The two of them grabbed dusty canvases and paint tubes and brushes and scattered them amongst the tables. The muted sounds of people in the hallways seeped under the door.

"Fuckin' Kidman was supposed to be my look out, probably went to shoot up or look for freshmen." Raven swore and laughed. 

Stevie kept stealing glances at the door.

"Um...are you gonna tell?"

"Tell what?"

"About me hurting you..."

Raven laughed so hard he shot a small stream of blood into his shirt. "Don't be stupid." He clapped his hands and made a show of dusting them off. "Good job. Now that that's over with..."

He violently grabbed Stevie's arm and jerked him into the storage room, slammed the door behind them and locked it.

The storage room was almost as big as the classroom itself, but the space was choked with dust and sheets and supplies that hadn't seen daylight in years. The darkness was more of a deep grey thanks to the slivers of light from the old crooked door. Stevie landed chest first on the unforgiving tile, stopping himself from busting his nose until Raven decided to do it for him.

Raven grabbed a fistful of Stevie's locks, drew him back until he was face first in his hair. He inhaled the scent of old tobacco smoke and cheap conditioner, savored it before slamming the boy's head onto the tile. And again until small beads of blood appeared.

Stevie's weak groans were swallowed up by the flood of students on the other side coming in for their art final. Mr. Jones--Malcolm to his students--was pretty lax about this whole school thing, so instead of silence born of concentration the students chatted and visited while working on the fruits of their labor.

Raven pulled Stevie's bloodied face back up.

"Wanna play? Of course, if you don't, you'll have to go out there and explain why we're in a closet..."

"You said you wouldn't tell!"

"Shh, I'm not." Raven chuckled. "You are."

He felt around for Stevie's hands. He grabbed one and pulled four fingers back as far as they would go. Stevie instinctively bit his own tongue, even as Raven twisted and wrenched his wrist around.

"Doesn't hurt?" Stevie shook his head. "You want more?"

Stevie tapped his hand frantically against the floor. Raven let his hand smack against the ground, then stood up and ground his heel into the soft palm.

"Still doesn't hurt? Looks like you're game." He bent over to speak into Stevie's hair. "Or maybe you just get that a lot."

After a few moments, Stevie nodded.

"Thought so. If only you'd let me love you instead..." Raven hauled his victim up to his feet. "Now we're even."

"Can I just go now? I'm sorry for what I did."

Raven backed Stevie up until he was trapped against a canvas hiding under a sheet like a child playing a prank.

"No." He tugged him forward by the hem of his shirt. "No."

Stevie didn't expect the kiss to be delicate and demure, but the violence of their faces colliding still took him by surprise. His mouth was full of copper and nicotine before he knew it, violated by a foreign tongue with a metal loop through it. He gasped, and Raven took it as encouragement to push further. 

Stevie pulled away in the small amount of space he had left, overwhelmed by his heartbeat ringing in his ears. Raven grabbed his collar and tried to reel him back in.

"Hold on, I can't breathe."

"Isn't it better when your dizzy?" Raven's gaze darkened and he grabbed Stevie's chin. "Was that your first kiss?"

"With another boy? Sure was."

"Period."

"Um...well...no, if you can believe it."

Stevie's self-deprecating laugh was cut off by Raven's grip on his neck. The seconds dragged by as Stevie's vision grew hazy and he felt surely on the brink of death, but just as quickly Raven let go. He chuckled next to his ear.

"Forget it. I'm your first everything from now on, got it?"

Stevie started to wish Raven had just killed him. "We can't...do that in here..."

"Don't deny me anything else." He gently grabbed Stevie's shoulders and eased him down to his knees. "I'll bet you've never done this before."

Stevie shook his head, tears stinging his eyes. "I don't want to, I really don't, please!"

Raven sighed in frustration. "Fine. Get up."

Stevie pulled himself back up and was greeted with a quick kiss before Raven dropped down in front of him, more awkwardly due to their height difference.

"What are you doing!"

Raven looked up in the middle of undoing Stevie's pants. "What's wrong? Don't wanna be my first blow job?'"

Stevie stammered out something incoherent. Raven shrugged and continued working.

"It's only fair. Have you ever had one?" He looked up to see Stevie shake his head. "Good. You won't know if I suck at it. Heh, got it."

Raven grabbed Stevie's hips hard enough to bruise and pulled him forward. Despite himself, Stevie wasn't entirely limp at this point and the warm breath against his dick wasn't helping. He whined as Raven teased the tip and drew back.

"That was way worse than porn makes it look, but I love you so I'll go through with it." He ran his tongue along the underside. "Brave, right?"

Stevie sighed in resignation and pleasure. "I guess."

"I want you to feel good. I wouldn't do this for anyone else."

Stevie's face was so hot he didn't think it could get worse if he actually doused himself in gasoline and lit a match. He grabbed hold Raven's thick mane and shoved his hardening length into his mouth, if only to get him to shut the hell up.

Raven choked but it turned into a moan when Stevie slid out and shoved in again. He didn't care that he could barely breathe, he just wanted more of Stevie's barely restrained moans and cock hitting the back of his throat.

He weakly held onto Stevie's waist for balance. Salty precum and dried blood mixing in his mouth in a potent aphrodisiac. Stevie brought his face down a final time and held it as he came; Raven choked and gagged and was pretty sure something was shooting out of his nose. He sat up to spit off to the side and furiously swiped at his face.

"I didn't expect that to be so fucking hot."

His already bruised lips were puffy and slick. Stevie rested back against the canvas and pulled his pants up.

"We're going to get in so much trouble..."

"Why do you care? I didn't hear a 'thank you Raven for getting me off' in there."

"Are you kidding? You forced yourself on me!"

"Did I force your dick down my throat?" Raven smirked. "Just say you wanted it as bad as I did."

"I...wanted it. There."

"Feels good to be honest, doesn't it?"

Stevie muttered "whatever" and dropped to the ground. "I just wanna get out of here."

"They should be done soon. Then you can run back home and start your little boring summer. Or..." Raven paused to twirl a streand of mousy brown hair. "You could be with me, and see me as I truly am. Aren't you curious?"

"I..." Stevie brushed some stray hair back. "A little, I guess."

"I'll answer everything. Just come back to school tonight at seven for one last time."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sheamus voice* Oim Bach
> 
> Quarterly update time! Fixing the tags lol. Warnings here for blood and violence again but also drug use and not very consensual acts. Master manipulation!
> 
> This Flock is leaning more towards WCW but I'm try to get all the faves in there eventually. I'll be back before 2018

The way the sun bounced around as it set reminded Stevie of Plinko. The big, orange orb skipped around from one side to the other on its downward slope.

He sat in the kitchen listening to the sounds of The Price is Right from the den. A lab mix the size of a small bear and with just as much fur brushed against his leg and whined. His brother leaned in from the doorway.

"You comin' out?" he drawled.

"Naw..."

His anxiety was at an all-time high. He'd even gone easy on himself by telling his parents so he wouldn't have to sneak out. (They were floored.) Why was he sweating? Why was he going to throw up?

What was he gonna wear? He thought back to the night with the harness thing and blushed. He didn't have anything like that, thank God.

He had jeans and an old band tee from the thrift shop. He tried to make the shirt a little more interesting by shredding the sleeves but his attempts at cool made him look more like a bear attack victim. So he cut them off altogether, showing off his farmer's tan. He still felt like a geek. He tried fluffing his hair up and felt even more like a geek. In the bathroom mirror, with horror, he found himself asking, "What would Raven do...?"

Ugh. It was just a one-off meeting, he'd meet Raven's friends, they would make fun of him, and he'd be on his way for the summer.

Speaking of which, he needed to go before it got too dark to see on the one-streetlight-street.

Stevie grabbed a flimsy drawstring bag containing his keys and a bottle of water and headed out the door with a faint, "bye." His brother grabbed his wrist before he took two steps outside.

"Who are your new friends, anyway?"

"You're gonna let the dogs out," his mom called from the living room. Stevie stepped back inside and closed the screen door.

He recited his rehearsed excuse. "Guys from school. They're seniors and they're having a going away party."

"Are you in trouble, bro?"

Stevie was caught off guard with the concern. "N-no, why d'you say that?"  
   
"It's just cuz I never heard of 'em. Are these new guys? The only one I remember was that one--"

Stevie snatched his hand away angrily. "I made some new ones, okay? They're cool. I just didn't talk about them before."

"Shit, man, fine. Just be careful out there, 'kay?"

Stevie shrugged and finally pulled himself free of the house. The dry, hot summer air made his skin and scalp feel itchy, maybe in anticipation of the sweat that would be rolling down his back soon. He hoisted the light bag up and down on his shoulders, trying to find optimal conditions as he walked.

Walking back and forth uphill and downhill to school had strengthened his legs and blessed him with thick calves. He timed himself sometimes, beating his own best every year until he was certain he would be sprinting soon. The bottle of water sloshed around noisily behind him. Something about the innocent sound was pissing him off. The crickets, the rustling of long-dead leaves, all of it was pissing him off.

He knew it was irrational. He knew he didn't have to go. He was going because he wanted to. He was curious, that much he could admit. Raven knew how to use cryptic messages to get under everyone's skin, and Stevie had to shake his head and laugh; he wasn't immune, coated in ESP-blocking cling wrap like he'd hoped. 

His brother's words rang in his head: was he in trouble? 

Stevie was sucking in great gulps of hot air as he climbed the last of the steep hill. His lungs burned and sure enough sweat was rolling down his back and into his waistband. It only occurred to him now, in the last few minutes of the day, that he had no idea where the meet spot was.

Shit.

He ended up in the parking lot, his confident gait slowing down to uneasy baby steps. The school building really did look different at night. The shadowy, greenish glass of the windows were like small judges embedded in the brick walls, watching his every step.

_Are you in trouble, bro?_

No, he wasn't! This wasn't going to be bad, the shiver running up his arms was just nerves.

Gravel crunching made his ears perk up painfully and his heartbeat shot up. He leaned against the hot brick, worried he might have spooked himself into a heart attack. A pale, gaunt young man wearing tattered black shorts held together with tape and prayer rounded the corner. Stevie realized he'd seen the kid before--in the hallway. Raven's look out.

Rather than call out, he cleared his throat. The kid spun around and his eyes strained to focus. Even from a few feet away, Stevie could tell the kid was stoned out of his mind. 

Maybe he should have brought some emergency numbers.

"Izzat...? Hey, you!" the zombie kid swiped at the air as he neared Stevie. Stevie shrank back even though he had a good few inches of height on him. Up close, his face was wet like it was melting.

The kid caught Stevie's hand and with surprising force pulled him from the wall. "Don't just stand there, he's waiting."

"Umm, okay."

Stevie allowed himself to be dragged into the bowels of the school. Some of the classrooms were still lit but the hallways were dark. Each step felt like floating in a void as Stevie struggled to remember where the dips and stairs were, and not trip over his guide's feet.

He recognized that they were descending, likely into the basement. He swallowed; the basement wasn't scary or anything, just cleaning supplies and some English classrooms...oh. Stevie's mind flashed back to his first and only night in Raven's room. Of course a lover of poetry would know this area well. This wouldn't be so bad.

There was laughter coming from behind a door at the very end of the hallway. The kid fiddled with the door, remembered himself, then knocked six times in a pattern.

The laughter stopped. 

"Whooo iiiiis iiiit?"

Stevie was certain that was Raven, but his voice sounded too high-pitched and...happy? Playful, even. He would have been happy to hear it but it felt wrong given the circumstances.

"It's Kidman! And the, uh, your dude."

The door unlocked and Kidman pushed it open. The lights were on but someone had covered them with red film that Stevie feared might ignite. He tore his glance from the ceiling and looked down into the room.

His voice cracked as he whispered, "This is that bad..."

There were two work tables lined up, lightly dusted with white stuff that Stevie didn't want to think about but didn't need to be told what it was all the same. Some cheap whiskey bottles strewn about. It looked like a neon-soaked scene from a sleazy movie.

Kidman must have sensed his hesitation, because he shoved him inside the room and quickly locked the door.

Raven turned down the stereo that was warbling just underneath the chatter and laughter. He glared.

"Kidman! Fuck off with that violent shit, you dickhead!"

"I thought he was gonna run!"

Raven unmounted himself from his makeshift throne of stacked chairs and red drapes and crossed to the front of the room. He kneeled down in front of Stevie and smiled.

"You aren't going anywhere, are ya baby?"

Stevie looked up and was met with eyes immaculately lined and shaped with liquid liner. The abrupt fall took his breath away, that's all it was. He kept telling himself that. 

Raven offered his hand out and Stevie took it, pulled himself up. Raven followed his gaze to the table and laughed. 

He jerked Stevie's arm to pull him a little closer.

"You look cute. Winger, huh?"

Stevie pushed and tugged at his shirt. "It's my brother's."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "You have siblings? I thought you were alone."

Stevie shrugged. "I mean, we don't get along. I might as well be."

Raven leaned in closer still, his breath flowing just under Stevie's ear lobe. "Does he touch you?"

Stevie recoiled in horror. "What! No!"

Raven smirked but it quickly turned into a laugh. He clamped down on Stevie's wrist and pulled him towards the throne. Stevie only barely recognized a couple of faces. The guy with the taped up glasses he was pretty sure he'd seen before, but not looking that cruel. A guy with his hair in a high ponytail and a goatee. Beulah was being groped in a corner by a strange girl with a mohawk up to the ceiling.

Raven's fingers snaked around to grip Stevie's shoulders.

"Everyone's a little different at night. It's like Wonderland. It's whatever you want it to be."

Stevie swallowed and tried to laugh. "Well, if this is all you wanted me to see--"

"Oh, no no. What do _you_ want to see?"

"The exit."

Raven sighed long and loud. "Come on, Stevie. It's the end of the year, it's time to have a little fun."

Stevie's eyes darted back to the tables. "I-I thought you were clean..."

"Clean as a whistle. In fact, I think I'm the only one that's had any water in here. But I can facilitate."

Stevie wrapped his arms around his torso and took a deep breath to collect himself. He looked around at the sights and sounds warily. He found himself encased in the warmth of Raven's leather coat, broad arms winding around him like restraints.

Raven dropped his head onto Stevie's shoulder. His mane draped over to Stevie's chest and his stubble rubbed into his neck.

"You wanna leave, huh?"

"I'm sorry, it's not--I didn't think--"

"It's okay. Come on, let's go outside."

Kidman opened the door for Raven to lead Stevie out of the skeez room. In the hallway, Stevie finally felt like he could breathe again, let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Raven wrapped his fingers around his, almost shyly.

"Sorry if my friends scared you."

"I'm just not used to that stuff. Sorry I embarrassed you."

"Embarrassed me? Never. I invited you because I thought you could hang and they wanted to meet you, but it's okay."

The two of them started walking back upstairs. Stevie felt his heart sinking with each step. 

"Oh...they wanted to see me?"

"Yeah. Luna was real excited."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize. It's okay if you're uncomfortable." At the top of the stairs, Raven stopped and turned around. "I wouldn't do anything to put you at unease. I just wanted to see you in a different way, but I guess this is how you really are."

Stevie almost dropped off the bottom step. "No! I like to have fun, really."

"It's okay if this is who you are as a person. Scared, shy, lonely...I like you anyway."

Stevie choked back a sob and let himself be pulled in to rest against Raven's chest.

"Even though you're saying that, I feel bad."

He could just imagine what they were all saying behind his back. What a pussy. Couldn't even be in there for two minutes. What did Raven see in someone like him? He looked back down the dark hallway.

"That's not who I am. I don't think."

"You don't know?"

"I've never done this."

"Who do you want to be?"

Stevie sighed and closed his eyes. He hated that the warm body in front of him felt like the most comforting thing in the world right now. "Someone else. Anyone else."

"You wanna be like Ozymandias? He seemed pretty glamorous and sure of himself. Very righteous. And purple."

"And an asshole."

"Fine. How about Rorschach? Uncompromisingly himself even in the face of doom."

"What about you." Stevie ran his fingers along the ends of Raven's damaged hair. "Someone truly free."

Raven's gaze darkened and he swatted Stevie's hand away. "Free? I'm a prisoner to my own desires and lust and needs. Don't ever be like me."

Stevie hung his head but didn't apologize. Raven dug around in his pocket until he pulled out a small wax square.

"Saved you one."

The square had an unassuming white tab attached. Raven gently pushed Stevie down to his knees and plucked the tab off.

"Tonight, we find out who you really are."

The rush wasn't instant like the PSAs made it seem. The only thing that pulsed through him was shame and wrongness for a long time. The two of them finally made it back to the main floor of the school under lights that seemed to flick on and off in slow motion. The more they walked, the more Stevie felt like he was gliding across the floor.

Raven turned to him and said something very slowly, but Stevie laughed before he got to the end of his sentence. He was numb. His very blood felt like it had slowed down. Raven was dragging him because he was laughing too hard to move. Dragging him like a child tugging on a balloon. 

He was pulling him upstairs.

"Time for your art exam, Stevie, remember?"

Oh, of course. How could he forget his final? He had to draw or paint like never before or he was gonna fail. They raced up the next flight of stairs. The lights were much brighter up here. Raven pulled him into the art room and slammed the door.

They both coughed; the room still smelled like acrylic paint and spray fixant, charcoal and crayon. Raven left Stevie floating in the middle of the room as he went to fetch a spare canvas.

"What am I using?" Stevie asked, laughing.

"Whatever you want, love."

Raven moved the heavy canvas into the room and laid a pallet knife at Stevie's side.

"Mister Richards, your work so far has been exemplary, but I feel as thought it needs a bit more...pain."

He slipped Stevie's drawstring bag off his back and Stevie heart him distantly checking through it, and what sounded like "oh joy, H2O."

But Stevie was already looking at the palette knife. Pain? Pain? He couldn't feel pain. He sucked as an artist. How was he going to paint pain if he couldn't feel pain?

"Problem, honeybunch," he slurred, then laughed again. The force was so strong he lost his balance. "I can't feel anything."

"No, that blade just isn't as sharp as I thought. Hmm..." Raven suddenly blushed, visible even in the dark. "Did you call me honeybunch?"

"That's what I call the dog."

Raven frowned. "Real romantic, Richards. Here, punch the floor."

Stevie attacked the floor sluggishly, he felt the pressure but it was very dull and distant, and easily forgotten. It didn't take long for his knuckles to open up and ooze blood. It dripped slowly onto the canvas and Stevie spread it around in abstract shapes and lines.

Raven checked his work and hummed. "Beautiful. Your use of reds is inspiring and...erotic."

He got down on one knee and brushed some of Stevie's hair back. He pressed their lips together and nipped at Stevie's lower lip. The room glowed with moonlight and particles of dust paused mid-air.

"You wanna see my friends again?"

Stevie pulled away and nodded. Raven hoisted him up and on his feet, time sped up. Everything grew brighter, even in the shadows. When they made it back to the basement they were greeted with noise, noise like static. The mohawk girl grabbed him and pulled him into a messy, tobacco-flavored kiss.

Strive looked back at Raven in apprehension. Raven's voice was twitching rapidly, like the wings of an insect.

Raven held onto his wrist and caressed his cheek. "It's okay, I'm here...he's ready. Go for it."

The world flipped upside down and Stevie was staring at shadows and ceiling lights. He only felt pressure on his body, someone spilling water in his mouth and up his nose before being replaced with something thick and smooth. And that was exchanged for wet flesh against his lips. He was finding it hard to breathe and all he could hear was moaning and wet noises. 

He knew he was getting warm. He knew people were pulling in and out of him, bending his legs but never turning him over. Raven still had his hand but his fingers were wrapped around something. He was choosing not to think about it. He didn't have to feel it if he didn't want to, he could like it if he wanted to, he could float or be anything he wanted. He gripped and tugged Raven's hand at the sensation of orgasm. Someone was kind enough to rinse him off again.

"You okay?" Raven muttered, kissing his neck. Somewhere, someone said "awww."

"Y-yeah."

It felt like a dream. He unsteadily slipped his clothes back on--when had they come off?--and got to his feet with Beulah's help. Even in her inebriated state, she looked ticked off. She whispered something to Raven, who laughed.

"I'm taking him home. We're done for the night."

Ever the gentleman, Raven hooked under Stevie's legs and carried him out bridal-style, upstairs and out to the parking lot. It was even hotter in the dead of night than it was in the day, so hot Stevie lost his breath.

As Raven laid him out in the backseat, he muttered dreamily, "Did I do good?"

"You did wonderful."

He drifted between sleep and hyper awareness. Where were they going? Didn't matter. He was safe. Wasn't he?

Raven unlocked the garage and parked inside. Once the door touched concrete again, they were in inky black darkness only possible in death.

"This okay?"

Stevie looked around. "Home?"

"My place. I'm by myself tonight, so don't freak out."

Stevie didn't think he was in a position to freak out. Raven led him through the house and upstairs, past his bedroom to the half bathroom at the end of the hall.

The tile was that soft, creamy, retro Pepto pink with accents of duck feathers and little autumn leaves all around the place. There was a large tub that Raven was already filling with water scented with synthetic lavender.

Stevie slumped against the wall. He was starting to ache, to feel raw. Starting to feel dirty and awful and wrong. What the fuck had he done tonight? What was he about to do? 

Raven paid him no mind, already stripping out of his clothes. He turned to Stevie and smiled, tilted his head towards the water.

"Don't just sit there."

Stevie took his clothes off at a snail's pace. When he walked past the mirror, he caught sight of his body stained with blood and scratch marks. He shuddered. That was a different person.

The water felt too cool on his feet but hot on the rest of his body. Raven helped him in to sit on his lap. Stevie had to admit he didn't think Raven's vanity would let him be as hairy as he was. He brushed a hand across the dark hairs of his arm and chest.

"I took a break from waxing," Raven explained. "Shit hurts. But it's cleaner than shaving. No one wants me to shave ever again."

Stevie snorted. His hands drifted around uselessly in the pink tinted water. Horror pricked at his neck--that was him, that was his blood. He shot up too quickly and nearly fell out.

"Hey hey! Come on, don't do that."

"I'm b-b-bl--"

"I know, that's what the bath is for, dork." 

Raven tugged Stevie back onto his lap and held him in an iron grip. Stevie was dry heaving over the side of the basin until only spit and tears dribbled from his lips.

"What--did--I do tonight, Raven!"

"Whoa, what do you mean? You were there and conscious for everything, that's better than most people. Hell, I'm surprised you haven't blacked out like I did."

"Why am I bleeding?"

"Calm down, honeybunch." Raven eased Stevie back into the water. "You just hurt yourself on a palette knife."

"You're lying."

"No I'm not. Look at your wrists. You started cutting again and I got you outta there. You said you wanted to meet my friends and started making out with everyone. See, you remember."

Stevie was calming down if only into milder shock. Pictures were flashing in his head but they were jumbled. No noise. Just static. And blood. He remembered the palette knife and blood streaked across the moon in slow motion.

"Don't worry. I'm taking care of you. I wouldn't let anything bad happened to you."

Stevie was so sore, like his first month running track before he hurt his leg. The endorphins would kick in and he would be flying, and then three hours later the pain. Oh, the pain! Soaking in a tub full of epsom salts and taking Motrin forever. But back then, there was no one to hold his hair back and plant kisses on his neck, to massage his shoulders and hold him.

"I just...just kinda wanna go home."

Behind him, Raven's black-streaked eyes narrowed. "You are home. With me."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit I was this close to lying about that whole one more update before 2018 thing lol. I'm getting it together.
> 
> Taking a break from unrelenting fucked upness for some domesticity.

Stevie attempted a morning stretch, but soreness made him recoil, retreat inside himself. Raven was knocked out, one arm draped over Stevie possessively and his face mashed into his shoulder. He was snoring away, gently but noticeably.

Since he was awake, Stevie stared at the wall and picked dead skin and dry blood off his hands. God, he needed moisturizer. He felt so dry and itchy and gross.

The posters on the wall seemed to shake and mutate the longer he stared. Did he come down in his sleep? Or did he have to be awake to shake off the effects? He's groggy but okay. Even still a bit sleepy, and it was so warm.

He patted Raven's arm. "Hey. Can you let me up?"

Raven snorted and tried to roll over with one arm. "Whatsit?"

"You're on my chest..."

The blonde finally rolled over onto his other side without remark. Stevie admitted he felt a little cold without the body engulfing him.

He was well aware that he was naked under the sheets, and thus getting up would be the second challenge. The first task stemmed from the smell of breakfast wafting up from downstairs. Some kind of meat, probably cured. Toast. Eggs. The whole nine yards. They were no longer alone.

Raven was soon preoccupied with it too. He rose up as if the scent had jerked him forward by the nostril hairs.

"Oh, shit. What time is it?"

"You don't have any clocks in here," Stevie said softly. He wasn't sure if he was still cold or if horror was just setting in.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, it can't be after noon. Oh, don't worry about the folks. I'll just tell them you slept over."

Stevie wanted to protest that they were too old for sleep overs, but it was a much better lie than he could come up with. And then of course, there was the truth.

Raven slowly ran a hand up Stevie's side and pressed a kiss onto his bicep.

"Shower?"

"I don't really feel like it right now."

"You need one before I give you any clothes."

Stevie managed to sit up a bit and asked, "Where are my clothes, anyway?"

Raven shrugged. "Under my bed somewhere, I guess. Or maybe...uh."

"What's 'uh'?"

Raven began to chuckle. "Maybe in the bathroom. Maybe with mine! I bet that looks weird."

Stevie barely suppressed a groan. He could only pray that maybe, just maybe, no one had been up there yet or perhaps even just bypassed the pile of clothes without comment.

Raven nudged him with his elbow, hard. "Dude, I'm just fucking with you. They're not gonna care either way. Come on, shower."

Stevie found himself hauled across the bed by strong arms; he didn't have time to contemplate on his and Raven's nudity before they were heading for the door. He was too weak and tired to grind his heels into the ground and stop this madness, so his feet skittered along the taupe carpet, leaving gray streaks in the shape of toes.

They were soon back in the Pepto-pink room. The room seemed so different in the morning. It was much smaller than he recalled. Even looking at the white basin before him, he couldn't imagine how two relatively tall young men--one lanky no less--managed to fit in without legs hitting the walls. Or maybe they did. Last night was already slipping from his mind. If he blinked or even tilted his head back too far another memory was gone, and another, and another.

But he certainly remembered blood. The footprints were long dry, but they left red stains in their wake in a beeline for the clothes hamper with towels perched on top. He flipped the hamper open and found his and Raven's old clothes meshed together in a ball.

Raven finally got the shower working before he flooded the entire bathroom. He tossed some errant hair back over his shoulder.

"They make these things more complicated every year, I swear."

As the water warmed up, steam rose up from the bottom of the tub and spread across the ceiling. Raven stepped in first, then held his hand out for Stevie.

Stevie now understood why Raven looked so strange and disturbing the day he came to school with no make up. The smeared black turned his eyes into sharp, sinister slits. Without them, his eyes were wide and unassuming, good natured. He suddenly looked very much his young age.

Raven moved back behind the curtain of water, a scowl beginning to form. "What's with the staring?"

"I just..." Stevie knew he had an internal choice: be mundane or go for romance. "I just...noticed there are no shower curtains or rugs."

Raven managed to blow up a tuft of damp hair and smirked. "Yep. Not anymore. That's my fault."

Stevie glimpsed the network of fading scars on Raven's abdomen and decided not to pursue anymore. He shrugged off the offered hand and stepped over the edge of the basin by himself.

He couldn't imagine the space being less claustrophobic with matching curtains. Water immediately hit the tile with the stream on the two of them, and hands and mouth were on him almost immediately. Raven drank water off drenched, hot skin and tangled his fingers in soaked curls.

There was a soft rap on the door and a flick of the door knob. "Scotty? Are you alright in there?"

Raven banged his head against the tile. "Do. Not. Call me that, mommy dearest."

"Honey, there looked like blood in there last night!"

Raven glared at the hint of bare feet under the door. "I'll be out in a moment. What's the point of having two of these if you can still harass me?"

"Open this door!"

Mommy dearest pounded on the door fruitlessly until it was evident her son wasn't going to answer, then she clicked away, muttering slurred threats.

Raven turned his attention back to him but Stevie evaded him by leaning against the wall. His eyes dropped to the floor, where the bloody footprints had melted into pink puddles.

"She knows," he whispered.

"Knows what, love?"

"She saw the footprints and the clothes."

"Honeybunch, if she really cared, wouldn't she have checked in last night or whenever the hell she and dad got back?"

The steam was making Stevie dizzy. He found himself nodding along; maybe that was a good point. Maybe he should just soap up and get out of here already, even if he had no place to go but right back to Raven's lair. He rinsed off and stepped out, carefully using the edge of the bath tub so he didn't break his neck on the floor. He grabbed a towel and dried off, back turned. The water switched off and Raven jerked the towel away before Stevie could drop it in the hamper.

Stevie found himself pressed flush against Raven's warm, slick body. Raven was fingering last night's injuries, roughly, poking and prodding some into bleeding again. Stevie slid and squeaked all over the floor trying to escape without making too much noise.

Stars filled his vision when he bumped his knee against the edge of the bath tub. He opened his mouth in a silent howl and then a hiss, doubled over in pain.

"Ffff..."

Raven laughed. "Don't hurt yourself again."

Stevie gently felt around his knee. It was bad enough he had some loose cartilage floating around in there that made his life hell in the winter. It felt like he'd clean ripped his kneecap away even if logic told him that was impossible. He hobbled away towards the door.

"You don't need my help?"

Stevie looked back at the genuine notes of hurt in Raven's voice. He paused.

"I can handle it."

"Long walk down the hallway naked."

"I've been in locker rooms before."

Raven shrugged behind him and held the door open. "If you say so."

The brisk walk down the hall turned into an agonizing five minutes. Using the walls for balance, Stevie hopped and dragged along, Raven beside him tsking his stubbornness. He mentally blocked out the guilt trip except for one lonely, softly uttered little word

"Sorry."

as he finally rested his hand on the doorknob. If he could, Stevie would have rotated his head around Linda Blair-style. He settled for a wide-eyed stare and a head cock more like an owl.

"I didn't mean for you to hurt your knee. I was just teasin'."

Stevie's frustration and anger faded away notch by notch. "It's okay...I guess."

"Can I at least carry you to the bed? You look like you're in so much pain."

Stevie scoffed at the size and height difference. But Raven held his gaze steady. Stevie was suddenly aware of his very naked, cooling body and the prospect of pressing it against something perhaps warmer. He eased in, inched over until he was close enough for Raven to awkwardly hook lanky legs with his forearm and brace the rest of the body somewhere against his chest and face. He then toed the door open and slammed it shut with his heel, stumbled forward to deposit Stevie on the bed.

His source of heat gone, Stevie rolled himself into a human burrito with the thick blankets on the bed, still a mess from when they had kicked out just a while earlier. He wrapped himself up until only the bridge of his nose and eyes and short tufts of hair could be seen. He watched quietly, surrounded by the sound of his own breathing.

Raven paid him no mind and went into his closet, tossing out odds and ends and humming to himself. Stevie heard a few jingles and chimes and saw leather strips with buckles and bells thrown out.

As the pile on the floor grew, it occurred to Stevie that perhaps Raven was not discarding these clothes.

"I-I can choose my own clothes. I know my size."

Again, Raven ignored him. Was he looking for something specific? He finally pulled away from the abyss of clothing and turned around, holding a long band tee and some pants. Stevie let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"Here. These are old so you can keep 'em if you want."

Raven threw the jeans and the tee across the room. Stevie sucked them into his blanket cocoon like a high-power vacuum. The shirt was indeed very old and faded, but the sepia tones and weird symbols, the humanoid shape on the front, all of it made Stevie uncomfortable without even knowing what it was. He flipped the shirt over and the back was equally faded, but he could make out a list of tour dates. Most of them were in England, it seemed.

His finger ran over a New York date. "Did you get this at the show?"

"Yeah. Good times. All of us underaged and packed into a car, drunk."

Stevie thought of all of Raven's "crew" in a single car packed together and shuddered. He finally unrolled himself from his soft prison and sat up. The shirt fit fine--even a little loose--but the jeans came up a bit short. The artfully placed shredded openings looked awkward on him, like a clumsy child wearing old hand-me-downs. Raven looked him up and down and placed his hand over his mouth; he was chuckling.

Stevie laughed as well, mostly at himself and the absurdity of his life right now. "Tight fit."

"It's not that. Ministry is just a little too hardcore for you."

Oh. Stevie looked down at his shirt again and frowned. Is that what those hellish symbols said? He didn't feel very hardcore in it. He patted the shirt down against his belly, a phantom habit.

"Now shoes, you might be on your own for."

"I can just wear mine."

"About that." Raven rubbed the back of his neck. "Ehhh, don't think you came in with 'em. Pretty sure they're still at school. Which is closed. To go back now would be trespassing, y'know?"

A hazy minute and a half of silence passed between them. Raven fidgeted, wholly unused to being the one made uncomfortable rather than the other way around.

When he thought back on this moment in retrospect, he realized he could have moved. It seemed like Stevie rose up on him like a bolt of lightning from the ground, or an unexpected flash, but really he had enough time to move. But no, he stood there dumbfounded as Stevie jerked him forward by the ends of his damaged hair and head-butted him square in the face. He fell back on his naked ass in shock, Stevie standing over him with trembling, clenched fists.

" _You asshole_ ," Stevie screamed, "you can trespass on the property so you and your friends can get fucked up, but not to get my shoes?"

Raven willed his vision to clear until he was no longer seeing double. Fuck. He touched his fingertips to his face to make sure he wasn't bleeding.

"Let me explain something. I rule those lands at night, not in the day."

Stevie deflated and fell back onto the bed. "What does that even mean!"

"I told you, everyone's a little different at night. I lose my powers in the day time, get it? It's not a big deal. We'll just get them later. Or."

Stevie leaned in, thinking perhaps he'd missed an important piece of dialogue. "Or?"

"Or get some new ones. Gimme a sec."

Raven picked himself up using his writing desk and chair. He checked his face for blood again, then crossed the room to dig back into his closet. Stevie folded himself back up on the bed and picked at the dead skin on his hands. More pictures from last night played in his mind like a slideshow and obscured his vision for untold amounts of time. His hands grew increasingly pink as he picked until finally they were red and painfully scratched. Raven leaned into his space and whistled.

"What's that about?"

When Stevie spoke it was in a faraway monotone. "Oh. Oh, my hands get dry."

"Hmm. I'll get you something for it. Hungry?"

"A little."

"Let's see what the fuck's happening downstairs."

Breakfast had long since gone cold by the time the two of them got into the kitchen, but mother had dutifully set some aside on the guest china regardless. Stevie sat at the dining table while Raven heated the dishes up and rummaged the cabinets for tea. He was looking for something specific, despite Stevie's insistence that he wasn't picky.

"Okay." Raven brought down two brightly colored containers with Korean writing. He shook the first box. "Insam?" He shook the second, much less full box. "Saenggang?"

Stevie stared at him blankly. "I have no idea what those are."

"Just pick one."

"What are they?"

"One is ginseng and the other is ginger. Gingery."

The _Jeopardy!_ think theme played in Stevie's head as his eyes darted between the two cans. Finally, he closed his eyes and pointed.

"That one."

"Insam it is. Good choice."

Raven put the other container away. He set the chosen container down, then began the hunt for the tea kettle. Stevie sighed and took a plate of food out from the microwave, picking at it on his way back to the table. The meat was pulled chicken and beef sausage, as it turned out. The eggs...left much to be desired.

Raven stood up swearing at the pile of metal pots and pans he was surrounding himself in.

"Mommie dearest, where is the kettle?"

Stevie looked around the kitchen. Raven spoke as quietly as if she were standing right next to him. The stop and starts of the TV changing channels told him otherwise. Nevertheless, mommie dearest muttered back equally quiet,

"Try in the stove."

"Why the fuck is it in the stove? Never mind."

The kettle was indeed in the stove and Raven pulled it out, filled it with water, and sat it on the stove top to heat up. Stevie was pretty sure he was either going to forget about the tea or just not want it by the time all this spectacle was over. His fork scraped against empty plate and it occurred to him he'd fairly wolfed his food down.

"Good?"

He blushed. "Yeah. Really hungry."

"Mom can really move in the kitchen when she wants. Tastes like the butcher owed her a favor." Raven laughed at some injoke to himself. The kettle howled and spouted steam, signaling that it was ready, and Raven moved it off the eye. He patted loose tea leaves into the strainers floating on top of two glasses and poured the boiling water over them. He jostled the container again and pulled two dried yellow blossoms out. He dropped them into the glasses and set Stevie's down in front of him.

Stevie watched the flower unfold before him in the golden liquid. He looked across the table and saw Raven contemplating over his glass. Suddenly, he felt the need to have a little space from him. They'd been together since last night without so much as breaking apart to take separate showers, and here they were eating and taking tea together like old pals. He just wanted to breathe a little of his own air.

He swallowed the still scorching got tea in as few swallows as he could. He dropped his plate off in the sink then slowly wandered away, pulled away towards the living room.

"Uh, where ya going honeybun?"

"I'm gonna go thank your mom."

"Don't. _Don't_."

"I'm just gonna say thanks."

Stevie ignored Raven when he tried to call him back, firmly planting himself on the plush carpeting of the living room in front of a nacreous couch.

The woman on the couch was dressed in a gauzy pastel green shirt and white pants, lounging against the pillows with the remote controller in one hand and a half-empty mug of something in the other. She didn't so much as look up when Stevie cleared his throat. Even from where he stood Stevie could see the faint tremor in her hands and her glazed glances at the television screen.

"Uh. Hi."

"Hello. Steven, wasn't it?"

"Well, yeah. Thanks for breakfast."

"Of course. It's so nice when Scotty has friends over that aren't complete freaks. Were you the one bleeding?"

Stevie coughed to cover his startled gasp. "Bleeding?" he asked to buy time.

Mother's eyes narrowed. "I know I saw blood in there. Scotty has the sense to not bleed in my house anymore."

Stevie knew Raven was behind him by now, but he was determined to carry out this conversation. The last thing he had control of in this house.

"I hurt myself pretty bad, but I got cleaned up."

"Oh, you poor thing. How?"

"Um..." Stevie tried to focus on any particular event from last night, but at this point all he could remember was sobbing in the bath. "Um." He clenched his bruised and scuffed up hands. "I don't really remember."

"Excuse him, he got pretty messed up last night," Raven interjected. "Shoot, we've got to go get his shoes from Brian's house."

Stevie felt hot tears running down his cheeks before he could stop them. "I wasn't messed up!"

"Stevie, you got into a little something. You didn't even remember leaving your shoes. It's okay, buddy."

Horror and relief mingled together in Stevie's stomach, fighting for dominance. Horror at the truth he'd been pushing back for so long, relief at the burden of covering up being lifted off his shoulders.

Mother clicked her tongue and went back to flipping through channels. "Figures. Didn't think you could make friends with someone normal. You're welcome, by the way."

Raven jingled his keys and escorted Stevie out. "Come on, let's go get your shoes."

Once in the kitchen, Raven roughly jerked Stevie to the door that led to the garage.

"Why did you do that?" Stevie whispered. He scrubbed his face with his shirt until his cheeks glowed pink.

Raven yanked the door open and stomped down the stairs.

"Because I told you not to fucking go in there and ya did."

He unlocked the passenger side first, then the driver's side. Stevie slid in and sat rigid and still, even as the car rumbled to life and pulled out of the mansion.

"But why did you say that?"

"It was the truth, wasn't it? C'mon. You just got a little messed up on your first trip. It's no big deal."

"She hates me. She thinks I was bleeding all over her house like some kind of degenerate."

Raven gripped the wheel in frustration. The gates to the neighborhood were wide open and the sky was gray like it might rain or had rained already. Stevie assumed the latter judging by the way the trees were drooped over.

"Stevie, you _were_ stumbling around and bleeding everywhere like a degenerate. I took care of you, right?" He grinned. "'Sides, it's okay if she doesn't like you. Makes me like you more."

Stevie sighed and rested his elbow against the window. "I can direct you to my house from here. I don't mind you seeing where I live."

"That's nice, but I said we're going to Lodi's and I meant it."

Stevie's brow furrowed. "Lodi? The...Brian dude you were talking about?"

"Yes. Can't send you back home without shoes, now, can I? Your parents will wonder what kind of person you're hanging out with these days."

Stevie breathed in deeply and laced his fingers together to keep them away from the door locks, lest he snatch off his seatbelt and throw himself out of the car. He was starting to wonder, too.


End file.
